Looking vs. Being

I have friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and some male people too, who feel old because of their age. If you ask them the age, they make the typical joke of taking off for at least ten years to avoid telling the truth. If they finally dare to say it, they do it with a hint of shame, interspersing excuses and justifications. Although I participate in the joke, deep down in what I think is in the deep disconnection that hides behind this denial of being who you are at that moment. In the end, this number does not mean anything, nor should it become the reference that defines how we should see ourselves or how we should feel.


” The empty appearance is not attractive. (Twitter) “


The reason why I bring all this up is because I would never wish to have it again 20 or 25 years, not even a couple of years less under any circumstance. I am 45 years old, and increasingly I like to celebrate my birthday.

The widespread cliché phrase that the passage of time feels good to wines and cheeses is not even true, because a wine that is not good does not improve with time, and the same goes for cheese. If not, ask a wine or cheese taster.

The basis for aging well is to feel good, and that is why experience is the only thing that brings mastery and wisdom. That is not won without the passage of time. I find it hard to believe that many people do not value this gain and that they put some wrinkles before the intelligence that is gained over the years. For me, a good example of aging are leather or leather objects, the longer they have passed, the better they look.

Despite my categorical incomprehension at this fact of age, I also know, from my own experience, that we are our worst enemies and that we know how to make a good use of this role, making relentless judges. All this is easy for us because we know our pain points, we know our weaknesses, we know how to sabotage, how to procrastinate and forget what is really important in our lives, because we know perfectly the mechanisms to terrorize us and make it seem that we are doing what Right.

Choosing and choosing how we want to feel is the only cure for this social complex based on beauty and eternal youth, physical appearance and ideal age. All this mania and ode to pseudo-perfectionism is what is really going to take us to the grave quickly.

Although this issue apparently has nothing to do with the line of the blog and my business, it has to do with the attitude with which we go through life and the one we project, and this is exactly the discordance that many people who live imprisoned and put in a mental corset, which limits them and separates them from themselves and their dreams.

Far more important than all this is to cultivate self-connection and to understand time as a possibility of self-knowledge or learning. Everything is happening before our eyes, and we are letting it escape by looking in the wrong direction.

In particular, I have decided to live in a world where what I think and how I feel try to be related. Although I do not always achieve it, I set limits to not let myself be tyrannized by beliefs that I find illogical, nor by absurd conventions, nor by people who do not deserve my respect.

These thoughts do not have to do (although it goes very well) with the end and the beginning of the year, but if so, it is pure divine chance. My great desire is that we try to be more ourselves, that we criticize less; that we allow ourselves to be imperfect; that we stop feeling sorry for others and learn to be more compassionate; that we are more present; that we stop fitting into a social or collective pattern; that we have the courage to leave what we have to leave and that we start what we have to start; that we learn to use the freedom we have to decide; making us responsible for ourselves and our decisions, and finally we do not continue to blame others for our boredom, frustration and lack of courage. 

” Taking care of ourselves,

we are taking care of the rest of the world. (Twitter) “


The best gift is that which you make yourself.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2018!


  • Carolina
    Posted at 15:40h, 31 December Reply

    It helps to accept that we are permanently changing, or let us call it growing.
    Growing wise as long as we agree that we have still not reached the peak of wisdom. Being yourself really sounds so easy.
    But how do I know who I really am.
    How does it feel to be myself.?
    I am looking forward to your answers.

    • Yuly
      Posted at 20:19h, 02 January Reply

      Thank you, Caroline, for your feedback.
      I´m so honoured to start a conversation about this topic.
      Who we really are? Is a big, complex and deep question that needs a personal answer. In my opinion, it isn´t about looking into the bright side of life but about digging deep to search for real answers, taking everything that life includes, no rejecting our nature but accepting it and staying proud to who we are.
      How does it feel to be? Is also a personal and an ongoing process that should be defined from inside out and not the other way round. I believe being aware of ourselves it is always a good orientation.
      Keep going. I´m on the way too..

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